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Copyright © Louis Schmier and Atwood Publishing.
Date: Fri 10/29/2004 4:17 AM
Random Thought: Meaning and Purpose of Teaching, II
You know, somewhere inside each of us, buried deep beneath every day
concerns, is a dream. Every now and then it surfaces to energize our spirit
like nothing else can and then sinks back down beneath the surface. Our
dream has a promise that we all too often wave off as crazy and impractical.
And yet, the more our real lives, our real work, connect with our dreams,
with our vision, with our sense of meaning and purpose, the more our
passion, energy, and excitement about your lives and work is released. The
key to this emission is to seek out, acquire, listen to, and move toward a
deeply reflected and clearly articulated dream, a vision with purpose and
meaning. Self-inspiration, then, is fired by the conjoining of who we
presently are with who we would like to be, a union with our real selves and
ideal selves, a gut-wrenching and honest reaching deep into our gut and a
willingness to overcome the seemingly never-ending difficulties of pulling
ourselves to the surface. Therein lies the power of a "can-do" faith, of a
"there is more" hope. That--is--not--easy--to--do! Trust me, I know.
Let me take you back to October, 1991, when I had my epiphany. For fifteen
years before that, I was in a self-consuming and self-devouring 'publish or
perish' rut, although at the time I didn't admit I was a rut. But, I was,
and it was getting deeper and deeper. I was running from book to book,
article to article, grant to grant, conference to conference. There was
that rush to be important and that rush from being important. I had become
the country's noted authority in my field. I had a longer scholarly resume
than the rest of the faculty on my campus combined. And yet, as I look
back, there seemed to be less and less importance to being and looking
important. The rush was diminishing to a trickle. There was less and less
contagious excitement. There was less infectious passion. There was less
fulfilling meaning. There was certainly no inspiring vision. I had
sacrificed the students in the classroom by saying that I couldn't serve two
masters. Yet, as I look back with 20-20 spiritual hindsight, I see that,
without confronting the reality of my rut, without being attentive to the
habits I had accumulated over the years, I was always finding the
explanations, rationales, excuses to defend and confirm my self-image and
routine. I had adjusted to a life without meaning and purpose in what I was
doing. I was unaware of the truth of how elusive my real self had always
been because I had inflated my outer self at the expense of my inner self.
I was inattentive to the powerful mind trap I had caught myself in. It was a
stand that was not in reality serving my self.
Then, by chance, and with both great intrepidation and effort, I started
peeling away the mask of my apparent self and slowly discovered my real
self. I slowly and painfully started acquiring a vision of my ideal life; as
I wrestled with my values, philosophy, aspirations, weaknesses and
strengths, talents and capabilities, as I looked deep inside, I discovered
the teacher within. It was like cleaning the foggy mirror I was looking in
and getting a clear view of myself. It was like unlocking and opening a
door, and stepping into a new world. It was like breathing fresh air and
living a new life. I realized how much I truly relished being a teacher. I
connected with a purpose I had never known. I was waking up on more and
more mornings realizing that teaching could be exciting, meaningful, and fun
rather than a routinous drag on my scholarship.
To do such on-going soul-searching requires an intense self-awareness. It
demands a challenging reflection on your own life within and on your work
without. It means looking at what was, what is, and what might or can be.
It means thinking about the people who crossed your path and influenced the
paths you walked. It means considering the nature and extent of your
personal vision. It means reflecting on your commitment, dedication, and
strength of perseverance to "get in" and "stay in." It means articulating a
clear and honest picture of the reality of the situation on your campus.
Over the years, comparing the real and the ideal has been a discomforting
and at times an fearful challenge of Himalayan proportions, but I found that
there's no sense in blaming the mountain for being too high. Instead, I had
to find a way to climb it. And, as I scaled up the slopes, I discovered so
much clarity about what I needed to change and what I need to be to get me
and what I do right.
Over the past decade, I've been able to craft a vision of my life and of my
role on campus. It has meant engaging in the extremely hard work of
unlearning years of learned and practiced habits revolving around and
focusing on research, publishing, lecturing, testing, and grading. I had to
learn and repeatedly practice new thoughts and actions, surrender the
weakening and debilitating fixation on obstacles in front and around me,
focus on the powerful and strengthening image of who I want to be. I had to
make a lasting commitment beyond a year-end resoluting to a future vision of
myself, not only in my work, but in my entire life. My philosophy of both
education and of my life is the way I determine my values, what forms my
character, what determines my actions, what guides my relationships with
others, and what forms the teaching style towards which I gravitate.
As I am about to become the senior faculty member on campus, people
increasing ask me when am I going to retire. I ask myself, "Is there enough
on campus and in education, in the classroom, in each student to keep me
going through the changes and challenges?" More importantly, I ask myself,
"Am I still having fun and am I still happy?"
My answer is always--so far--an "I'm still in." I'm in because I now have
only holy encounters with a student, because now I see and hear an angel
walking in front of each student proclaiming, "Make way! Make way! Make
way for someone created in the image of God!" And, I can't help but to love
each student. The more you love each student, the more you respect each,
the more value you will see in each, the more value you will give to
teaching, and the deeper you will be in. The more you leave the dismay and
discouragement behind, the more the negatives dissolve into nothing. The
more you make room for love, joy, happiness, and accomplishment, the more
you will get rid of the mental junk. The more genuine enthusiasm you put
into each student, the more real fulfillment you'll get out of teaching and
the greater will be your accomplishments.
So, the real challenge in teaching and learning is to love each student as
much as, if not more than, yourself. The challenge in teaching and learning
is to build relationships, including our relationship with ourselves; the
challenge in teaching and learning is to approach each student as if he or
she is there, not just for our purposes, our pleasure, or our
accomplishment, but for his or her purposes, his or her needs, and his or
her achievements. The challenge is to see beauty in each person no less
than you would in a rose or a panoramic scene. But, let me tell you, after
a student came up to me this morning, there is nothing like the glowing,
enveloping beauty of that moment. It's a beauty that's not limited in time
or confined to a place. It's an inner beauty that I will be with me
wherever I go. In some ways, that moment is enough beauty to last a
lifetime. In some ways, it is not, for as the beauty of that moment opened
up like a blossoming flower, I knew there would be more blossoms to come,
that I could see and feel more. He was, for me, a reminder that for every
single thing that may cause me dismay, there are far more reasons for hope;
that it's not enough merely to count my blessings. I have to live them with
vigor, dedication, commitment, perseverance. And, as I do, there'd be no
end to the joy of teaching and reaching out, touching, and transforming.
The more moments of beauty I look for, the more moments of beauty I see, the
more beautiful is each student, and the more beautiful is teaching.
I have discovered, then, that if I advance confidently in the direction of
my dreams, and endeavor to live the life which I have imagined, I will meet
with an uncommon success, satisfaction, and fulfillment unexpectedly in the
common hours.
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