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Copyright © Louis Schmier and Atwood Publishing.
Date: Tuesday, January 11, 2005 6:29 AM
Random Thought: People We All Need
Last week Susan and I went out to dinner in a local restaurant. As
we walked to our table, we passed two young couples at a table. One of the
men said to me, "Hello, Dr. Schmier." He looked vaguely familiar, but I
didn't know his name. I returned his greeting, but didn't stop to ask his
name. A few minutes later, as Susan and I were playfully looking over the
sinful menu, this young man from the other table approached us.
"I don't want to interrupt you," he said as he pulled over a chair
from a nearby empty table and introduced himself by name. He was a student
six or seven years ago. I remembered him for reasons I need not go into.
Then, he hit me. "I don't think you know, but you made a huge difference in
my life. I wouldn't be here or who I am if it wasn't for you....I needed
you.... You were a loud voice in my life about things that I later realized
mattered....I've never forgotten you and how much you cared for me and every
other student in that class, and how much there is for me to care about
myself and others. That got me through a lot of rough times....I never told
you that. I just wanted you to know now....Sorry, I didn't mean to
interrupt you."
I slightly nodded my head in acknowledgement and quietly answered,
"You didn't interrupt anything. You don't really know what you've just done
and how much I truly appreciate what you just said. Thank you."
I told him that his words has special meaning and how much I need
them as I faced surgery in two weeks. He left with a smile, "You'll be
hearing from me and I'll be praying for you."
As he left, I turned to Susan and told her once again, "Honey, did I
tell you today that I do need you." And, I leaned over the table to give
her a quick but passionate peck on her lips.
I'm not telling you this story to trumpet that I made a difference
in someone's life. My point is how person has touched me, reached me, and
has made a difference in my life. His words, "I needed you" have draped
themselves around me these last few days like wisps of a morning mist rising
from the surface of a lake. This cancer, like any obstacle or adversity or
challenge is like pumice. Whether it grinds me down or polishes me up is
not always totally dependent on myself. Whether we admit it or not, there's
no one who can truly go it alone. We all need a connectedness, that is, a
feeling of something larger than ourselves as a source for comfort, support,
belief, faith, love, and hope. We all need people in our lives who believe
in us. We all need people in our lives who light up our world. We all need
people in our lives from whom we can gather strength. We all experience
powerful benefits when we are the givers or recipients of compassion, love,
and kindness. Age, experience, education, position, renown have nothing to
do with it. Being human does. To deny this truth, that "no man is an
island," is to deny our humanity. We all need people to dignify our lives.
We all need people who are magical in our lives. Children need them; teens
need them; adults need them; fathers and mothers need them; husbands and
wives need them; sons and daughters need them; students and teachers need
them; people with no or little education need them; people with college
education need them; bosses and administrators need them; blue collar
workers need them; white collar workers need them; academics need them;
intellectuals need them; everyone need them. Throughout our lives we need
people who provide encouragement, support, and unconditional love. The
simplest gestures often have the most far-reaching results. I think one of
the most beautiful legacies we can leave, that this ex-student left for me
in the restaurant, is to make others feel a little more special and
appreciated.
For us educators, the lesson is obvious. I'm not saying ignore or
deny short comings, but at the same time if we lose sight of the strengths
and virtues that reside within each student, we are inviting pessimism and
hopelessness into our world rather than optimism and faith, and we limit our
capacity to believe and hope and act on those beliefs and hopes. Don't
underestimate the importance and power of an open heart to enrich our own
existence and the existence of others. I can attest without hesitation,
when you open your heart to other people to listen and see and care about
them, when you give, when you serve, when you're empathetic, it changes the
way you and they look at and act towards yourself, themselves, others, and
the world--and both you and they are happier for it.
So, I am being reminded over and over again by your outpourings and
by this erstwhile student and now professional, as Dickens wrote in OUR
MUTUAL FRIEND: "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of
it for anyone else."
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